Dolly Parton’s Guide To Being A World Class Whore
Dolly Parton’s Guide To Being A World Class Whore
12-11-13
By Clayton Wright
Little Gay Brother presents The Back House, a Dolly Parton inspired Whore House Party with Neil Prince, The Meat Boys, Chris Camplin, Maze & Masters, Tim Fanucci and Wes db. Ahead of Saturday's hoedown, we've compiled our guide to how to become a great whore via the medium of the great Dolly Parton.
Step 1: "Wear very little."
In this film Dolly plays a madame of a brothel. This film has everything, including young red necks who do a very homoerotic dance in a high school football locker room. It also showcases Dolly and her incredibly large chest in a variety of '80s underwear. She sings a tender and heartfelt version of I Will Always Love You", way before Whitney. This is what any good whore should aspire too and it's the theme for our party.
Taken from The Best Little Whore House in Texas.
Step 2: "Don't let your pimp boss you around."
This particular tip comes from the film that made her a Hollywood star, Nine Till Five. Dolly shows us who's the boss and gives us a master class on being badass. She threatens to Lorena-Bobbitt her over-familiar boss with her gun. Love it.
Taken from Nine Till Five.
Step 3: "Pick out and mentor future whores."
Filmed at the spiritual meeca for every true redneck whore, or as Dolly likes to call it "Disney World with fried chicken", Dollywood. Dolly performs one of our favourite songs about a whore called Jolene with future whore Miley Cyrus (way before she embraced her inner whore).
Miley Cyrus and Dolly Parton singing Jolene live at Dollywood
Step 4: "Be prepared."
Dolly is no fool. She knows any good whore is on call night or day. In this clip, Dolly confesses to Graham how she sleeps in her make up, just incase she has to leave in the middle of the night. She also says she would have to be "awful hungry" to pose nude. Another great piece of advice: no good whore gives it away for free, even to Playboy.
Dolly Parton appearance on Graham Norton
5: "Sell out."
Like every good whore, you have to sell out. This however is next level. Watch Dolly do the most awkward rap ever. What a whore.
Dolly Parton raps for Queen Latifah
Join Clayton and the rest of Little Gay Brother for The Back House this Saturday 16th November at Dalston Superstore from 9pm - 3am.
Dolly Parton’s Guide To Being A World Class Whore