(expert lesbian advice on every clam’s plan)
Once upon a time I was born a foreign lesbian with a spoonful of bin-juice fed to me intravenously, by my already exasperated mother. It affected me in many ways, adverse to penis (in my mouth form only), although saying that some of my best friends have perfectly shaped cute and cuddly penises. Other ways would be the ongoing fabulous addiction to gin, friendly flocks of nuns and guns, lesbian sex of rushed and hard-to mop-up-after kind, spare time knitting and drilling simultaneously and finally cLAM jAM on the brain 24/7 with music, glorious music, kind of music that splits you sideways and makes you shake your titties in unwarranted direction of one lucky girl.
Hence, why I am clearly the most qualified person here to give out the professional advice and selection of quick rules and regulations on what should be expected on the night of cLAM jAM NYE.
1) Expect that Shola Ama is coming and singing live. Who don’t love a bit of Shola? Garage Shola. R&B Shola. Shola here, Shola there, Shola everywhere.
2) Bring waterproof clothes
3) Coupled or single get ready to mingle
4) Fix Up Look Sharp
5) Be flash, fuck it! It’s NYE
Sorted. Gonna Be Boss!
Love cLAM jAM
Catch Bica, Packin’ C, Shola Ama and more at Clam Jam New Years Eve from 9pm-5am on 31 December 2015.
Tickets available here.Read full article
Tags: Bica, Clam Jam, Dalston Superstore, New Years Eve, shola ama