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Miserable Bitch

Miserable Bitch

Friday sees those lamentable ladies Ma Butcher and Lazy Susan takeover the top bar for Miserable Bitch. They'll be serving up a soundtrack of "italo, disco, new wave, no wave, give me a break wave, miserable witch house and Ma Butcher p0p" and maybe even serving up a naked sushi table if those salacious rumours are to be believed. We caught up with these self-proclaimed bitches to find out exactly how they intend to totally underwhelm us this weekend...
 
What three attributes do you need to be an ultimate Miserable Bitch (besides being miserable and a bitch)?  
 
Ma Butcher: Dead from the neck down, no taste in music and a galloping sushi addiction.  
Lazy Susan: Hyper-evasive, rude and not to be trusted with drink tickets.
 
Who is the top Miserable Bitch icon? 
 
Both: Nico - She's the ultimate High Priestess of Misery.
 
What will you both be wearing? Big hair and razor sharp power blazers? 
 
Lazy Susan: Something black and figure hugging, razor sharp bangs and enough geometric shapes to reinvent the '60s.  
Ma Butcher: Just a dab of L'Eau D'Issey.
 
Is it true you're going to have a naked sushi table? We need to know. 
 
Both: Why yes. We're all in need of a pre club nosh, so we're thawing out grandma and she should be ready for the weekend.
 
Favourite "miserable witch house" track?  
 
Lazy Susan: More Alone, by Tropic of Cancer or Purple Lips by Nico.
Ma Butcher: Song for Guy - Elton John or Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper or Rain by Madonna (Lazy Su's Girlie Show Live Edit).
 
 
You've picked Twin Peaks character Laura Palmer as your poster girl. What makes her an ideal Miserable Bitch Face?  
 
Both: She's dead behind those eyes. A true misery through and through.
 
What's the most underwhelmed you've been all week? Come on, totally bore us. 
 
Ma Butcher: Watching a tramp give birth on Ridley Road. There was no straw, so we had to use Paks wigs to swaddle the baby. Makes me want to fall asleep just thinking about it.
 
What exactly do you have to do to get our hands on a Miserable Bitch pin badge? 
 
Lazy Susan: Brings us a nice grave rubbing, or show Ma Butcher your penis.
 
What constitutes "Ma Butcher pop"?  
 
Ma Butcher: Anything Lazy Susan doesn't like.
Lazy Susan: Anything you can lip-sink badly to.
 
What motto should every Miserable Bitch live her life by to be as miserable as possible? 
 
Ma Butcher: Hello Cruel World!
Lazy Susan: I'm going nowhere fast and you're not coming.
 
Join Ma Butcher and Lazy Susan in the top bar for Miserable Bitch this Friday 10th May at Dalston Superstore from 9pm - 3am.
 
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Miserable Bitch

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