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Op-Ed: Porn Outrage

Op-Ed: Porn Outrage

By Ted Rogers

WE'VE DONE IT AGAIN UK: A society of NO-NO's and NO RESPONSIBILITY SYNDROME!

[Read about the BBFC's new ruling on what acts can be seen in video-on-demand pornography in the UK here]

Banning acts like watersports, or shoving a truncheon inside someone is not going to make sex any safer. It will just add to people's fear and shame that they are doing something 'wrong'. But wrong by whose books I ask you? In what sense is 'female ejaculation' wrong?! Next there will be a ban on anyone having a penis or vagina!
 
Putting a sweeping ban on something is a shallow faux-solution. A hollow facade that creates the appearance of action. If you tell someone what they can't do, then what direction are you giving them to go. What should they do? Where is the encouragement for an individual to take personal responsibility for their actions? And where is the open talk of sex in all its forms in the mainstream? 
 
We are living in a society of boundaries and "no-no's" and zero follow up. And then when problems arise we sweep them under the rug and cover it up with a diversion. 
 
In my experience, what is damaging is not a kinky sexual act but the way in which you do it. And more importantly the mind set you are in. 
 
If you've been looking for a fix because you're having a bad day or feel lonely or want to celebrate because you bought new knickers or went to the gym then you're using sex like a drug. You can come away feeling disappointed and shameful towards yourself and the situation. Having a pity-fuck or putting yourself in a vulnerable situation when you are low in self-esteem, is far more emotionally and physically damaging than a good kinky shag when you're in a strong headspace and caring for yourself. 
 
Being told you're wrong because you're too kinky, or gay, or trans, or a girl, or too slutty, or too ugly, or too pretty, or whatever and then seeking secretive ways to have sex under the cuff - with no education - is a far more risky business than having a good healthy consensual shag after some teaching and experience. (Even if it involves some spanking and truncheon action!) 
 
Limiting sex to vanilla-only acts does not make it less damaging!!
 
Let's learn to take responsibility for ourselves. Let's stop ignoring the real issues and let's stop pointing fingers at something or someone else.
 
If we take responsibility for ourselves then, realistically, we may not have amazing damage-free sex 100% of the time, but we can work towards finding out what does and doesn't work for us and how we can interact with another individual sexually whilst maintaining a respectful atmosphere. Even if it does involves a bit of piss, which by the way is an extremely sterile substance. 
 
Join Ted Rogers at mr intl here at Dalston Superstore on Friday 12th December from 9pm - 3am.
 
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Op-Ed: Porn Outrage

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